Go Back
Cursed Mac and Cheese Recipe
Ash Tyrrell

Cursed Mac and Cheese Recipe

I first made this cursed mac and cheese on a night when I wanted comfort food but got a little too excited with the garlic jar. What came out of my pot was so unapologetically cheesy, garlicky, and over-the-top that I couldn't stop laughing while I ate it.
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes
Servings: 6
Ingredients Method Notes

Ingredients
  

  • 16 oz elbow macaroni cooked al dente so it doesn't turn mushy once it hits the sauce
  • 6 tablespoons butter use unsalted so you can control the saltiness of the sauce yourself
  • 10 cloves garlic minced, this is the "cursed" part, don't be shy with it
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour this thickens the sauce into something spoonable
  • 2 cups whole milk warm it slightly first so the roux doesn't seize up
  • 1 cup heavy cream gives the sauce that rich, velvety cursed texture
  • 2 cups sharp cheddar shredded fresh, pre-shredded bags have anti-caking powder that ruins the melt
  • 1 cup mozzarella shredded, this is what gives you that dramatic cheese pull
  • 4 oz cream cheese cubed, melts into the sauce and makes it extra glossy
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika adds a subtle smoky note under all that cheese
  • 1 teaspoon hot sauce optional but recommended, balances the richness with a little heat
  • Salt and black pepper to taste, add gradually since the cheeses already carry salt
  • 2 tablespoons chopped parsley for garnish, adds color and a fresh bite at the end

Method
 

  1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil and add the elbow macaroni. Cook it one minute less than the package instructions so it stays firm, since it'll keep cooking a little in the hot sauce later. Drain it in a colander and set it aside while you build the sauce.
  2. Melt the butter in your saucepan over medium heat, then add all that minced garlic at once. Stir it constantly for about a minute until it turns fragrant and just barely golden. This step is the heart of the cursed flavor, so don't rush past it or let the garlic burn.
  3. Sprinkle the flour directly into the garlic butter and whisk it in right away. Let this cook for about a minute so the raw flour taste disappears completely. You're looking for a thick, paste-like texture that clings to the whisk before you add any liquid.
  4. Pour in the warm milk a little at a time, whisking constantly so no lumps form. Once it's fully incorporated, stir in the heavy cream and let the mixture come to a gentle simmer. It should thicken enough to coat the back of a spoon within a few minutes.
  5. Lower the heat and add the cheddar, mozzarella, and cream cheese in small handfuls, stirring between additions. Keep the heat low here so the cheese melts smoothly instead of turning grainy. Season with the smoked paprika, hot sauce, salt, and pepper once everything is melted.
  6. Fold the drained macaroni into the cheese sauce until every piece is coated. Let it sit off the heat for two minutes so the sauce thickens slightly and clings better. Garnish with chopped parsley right before you serve it warm.

Notes

  • I always shred my own cheese instead of buying pre-shredded bags, since it melts so much smoother.
  • I let my milk sit at room temperature for ten minutes before adding it, which keeps my sauce from breaking.
  • I taste my sauce before adding salt, because the cheddar and cream cheese already bring plenty of it.
  • I keep a splash of reserved pasta water nearby in case my sauce turns out thicker than I want.
  • I stir in the hot sauce gradually, tasting as I go, since the "cursed" heat level is really up to you.