I start by lining a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper, pressing it down so it lays flat against the pan. This step matters more than it seems, because it's what lets me lift the finished bark right off the pan later. I skip this step at my own risk, since chocolate sticks to bare metal almost instantly.
Next, I melt my chocolate using a double boiler, stirring it often so it doesn't scorch on the bottom. If I'm short on time, I use the microwave instead, heating it in 15-second bursts and stirring between each one. I stop microwaving as soon as most of the chocolate looks melted, since the residual heat finishes the job.
Once my chocolate is smooth, I pour it straight onto the prepared pan and spread it out with an offset spatula. I aim for a layer about a quarter to a half inch thick, since anything thinner tends to snap into oddly shaped shards. This step only takes me a minute or two, so I move quickly.
While the chocolate is still warm and glossy, I immediately scatter my candy corn, sprinkles, and eyeballs over the top. I like pressing the toppings down gently so they stick rather than roll off once the chocolate hardens. This is the part I let my kids help with, since there's no wrong way to sprinkle.
Finally, I leave the pan at room temperature for about two hours, or pop it in the fridge for around 30 minutes if I'm in a hurry. Once it feels completely firm to the touch, I break it into rustic pieces with my hands or a sharp knife. I always find the fridge method faster, but the flavor and texture end up the same either way.