In a medium bowl, whisk together the instant pudding mix and cold milk until it starts to thicken, about two minutes. Add the pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spice, then whisk again until fully combined. Gently fold in the whipped topping with a spatula so the mixture stays light and fluffy.
Arrange a single layer of graham crackers across the bottom of your 9x13-inch dish, breaking pieces to fill any gaps. This base layer is what soaks up the pudding and turns tender as the cake chills. Don't worry if it isn't perfectly neat, since it softens into place later.
Spread about a third of the pumpkin filling evenly over the graham crackers using an offset spatula. Take your time here so every bite gets the same amount of filling. Smooth it right to the edges of the dish for clean, even layers.
Add another layer of graham crackers directly on top of the filling, followed by another third of the pudding mixture. Repeat once more so you end with crackers on top, ready for the frosting. This layering is what gives the dessert its classic eclair-cake structure.
Spread the melted chocolate frosting evenly over the final graham cracker layer using a spatula. Work quickly since the frosting firms up as it cools. This glossy top layer is what makes it taste just like a real eclair.
Cover the dish tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least four hours, though overnight works best. This chilling time is what softens the graham crackers into cake-like layers. Don't rush this step, or the texture won't set properly.
Once fully chilled, dust the top lightly with cinnamon before slicing into squares. Use a sharp knife and wipe it clean between cuts for neat pieces. Serve straight from the fridge for the best texture and flavor.