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Tortured Soul Jalapeno Rolls Recipe
Ash Tyrrell

Tortured Soul Jalapeno Rolls Recipe

I first made these rolls for a Halloween potluck, and they turned out looking so wonderfully creepy that I couldn't stop laughing while I pulled them out of the oven. Every single roll bakes into its own twisted little face, and no two ever look the same.
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Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 15 minutes
Servings: 4
Ingredients Method Notes

Ingredients
  

  • 2 cans refrigerated crescent roll dough - the buttery base that puffs up and cracks open into those funny little "faces"
  • 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese freshly grated - pre-shredded bags contain anti-caking starch that keeps the filling from melting smoothly
  • 1/2 cup cream cheese softened - let it sit out for about 20 minutes so it blends easily without lumps
  • 1 small jalapeno seeded and finely diced - remove the seeds and ribs first if you want a milder bite
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder - just a pinch rounds out the flavor without overpowering the cheese
  • 1 tablespoon melted butter for brushing - gives the tops a golden, glossy finish

Method
 

  1. I always start by preheating my oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit so it's fully heated by the time my rolls are ready to go in. While it warms up, I line a baking sheet with parchment paper. This small step saves me from any sticky cheese cleanup later, especially since a little filling always seems to leak out.
  2. In a mixing bowl, I stir together the softened cream cheese, grated cheddar, diced jalapeno, and garlic powder until everything is fully combined. I like to taste a tiny bit at this stage to check the heat level, since jalapenos can vary a lot in spiciness. Set the bowl aside once it looks smooth and evenly mixed.
  3. Next, I open both cans of crescent dough and separate them into their pre-cut triangles. I lay them out flat on my work surface so I can see all eight pieces at once. This makes it much easier to fill them evenly instead of rushing through one at a time.
  4. I spoon a generous portion of the jalapeno cheese filling onto the wide end of each triangle. I try not to overfill them, since too much cheese can ooze out and burn on the pan. A slightly heaping tablespoon per roll has always worked best for me.
  5. Starting from the wide end, I fold the dough over the filling and roll it up toward the point, just like a classic crescent roll. Then I pinch the seams closed so the cheese stays tucked inside while baking. This step is where the "face" starts to take its rough shape.
  6. Using my kitchen scissors, I snip two small slits near the top for eyes and one longer slit below for a mouth. This is the fun part, because the dough puffs unevenly in the oven and every roll ends up with its own tortured little expression.
  7. I brush each roll lightly with melted butter, which helps them turn a deep golden brown. Then I bake them for 12 to 15 minutes, keeping an eye on them after the 10-minute mark since oven temperatures can vary. Pull them out once they're puffed and golden all over.
  8. I let the rolls rest on the pan for about 3 minutes before moving them to a serving plate. The cheese filling stays extremely hot right out of the oven, so this short rest keeps anyone from burning their tongue on that first excited bite.

Notes

  • I always grate my own cheddar instead of buying pre-shredded, since it melts so much smoother inside the dough.
  • I press the pinched seams firmly with my fingertips, because loose seams are the main reason cheese leaks out during baking.
  • I keep my cream cheese out on the counter while I prep everything else, since cold cream cheese never blends evenly.
  • I use a light hand with the jalapeno the first time I serve these to guests, then let people add hot sauce if they want extra heat.
  • I bake these on the middle rack, since the top rack tends to brown the tops before the inside filling is fully warm.